Honest Talk with Alphan Personnel

SCENE: Shortly after "Full Circle". Koenig is in his office, seated at his desk, fully recovered from his cheesy joke with Helena and Victor in the Med Center. He appears to be absorbed with the Alpha Screen Savers designed by Zoltan Motyan of Earth in the year 1997. A beep at the door heralds a visitor.

KOENIG
(beaming the door with his commlock... the door opens, revealing the short, unassuming guy from Technical, Technician Bob Schwartz.) Yes, Technician... Schwartz, is it? What can I do for you?

SCHWARTZ
Permission to speak freely, Commander?

KOENIG
Granted.

SCHWARTZ
So like, uh, what exactly was wrong with that last planet?

KOENIG
Mist, Schwartz... mist. Mist that could regress any one of us into cavemen.

SCHWARTZ
(pausing several beats, waiting for Koenig to continue)
...And... that was it, just the mist?

KOENIG
Yeah.
(Returns to what he was doing)

SCHWARTZ
Permission to speak freely?

KOENIG
(sounding mildly annoyed)
Yes... what is it...

SCHWARTZ
Uh, actually I wouldn't really mind turning into a caveman from time to time. It would even be an interesting diversion. Considering that we're cooped up here on this hurtling rock in space for many months, a little bit of weird mist wouldn't be all that bad... it just seems to me that every time we come across a new planet, and you insist on leading the mission to the surface, sir, we always seem to end up getting hosed at the end. I mean, can we maybe get some new blood into those Eagles and see if our luck changes? And come to think of it, why are you even still in command? Four days after you took over the base, the Moon gets blown out of orbit... oh, I know no one would ever think of blaming YOU, sir, but when it became clear that "we were sitting on the biggest bomb Man has ever created", wouldn't THAT have been a good time to evacuate the base? Instead of sending a mere 30 or so Eagles to try and disperse over 40,000 cannisters of waste in a matter of hours? Not the greatest decision-making in the world, was it? And why bring Simmonds all the way up to the base to get his approval for the dispersal operation? Haven't you ever heard of an invention called "radio"? And another thing, the security around here really kind of stinks. It's like every other week we're getting invaded by life-stealing aliens, or bug-eyed monsters, or psychotic immortals, or strange balls of light, and no one around here can lift a finger to stop them. Aren't you going to DO something about it? And when are we going to suspend you and Carter from further flight operations? Between the two of you, you've wrecked over half the Eagle fleet! Why, I must have repaired Eagle One over twenty-seven times. This is a bogus operation you're running here, Koenig, I tell ya ---

(KOENIG shoots his stun-gun at SCHWARTZ, who crumples in a heap to the deck.)

KOENIG
(voice-over)
It was the 553rd day of our journey. After I decided not to colonize the planet Retha due to its strange clumps of mist with the incredible power to change us into Cro-Magnons, I have noticed some small increase in tension among Alpha personnel...