Nighttime
FearsNighttime
FearsBreakaway + 10 ½ years
“Mommy! Papa!” She couldn’t find her out…. she was lost… why was no one answering her? Nothing looked familiar, everything was dark and in shadows. “Mommy! Papa!” She became more frantic. She had never been left completely alone before. Someone was always in the next room… she spun in circles, unable to find the opening to take her there. She felt like she was falling, falling….
“Shhh, little one, I am here.” Warm arms gathered her close and she collapsed against the very warm body in profound relief, sobbing deep gasping breaths.
“Mommy?” But even as she said that, she knew she was wrong. Her mum had the scent of old books, cotton threads and Papa’s Eagles, the one who held her smelled of mysterious places and Uncle Tony. “Auntie Maya.”
“Are you better now?” Maya felt Danae nod her head. Looking over to her daughter in the next small bed over she whispered to the shaking girl, “Come, let us go to the front room and not wake Lysee.” Maya handed Danae her stuffed horse and then picked up the five-and-a-half-year-old’s slight body, smaller even than her own daughter who was a full year younger. After pointing her commlock at the door, Maya quietly slipped out of the small room.
They settled on the sofa, Maya holding Danae snugly in her lap. She reached over and turned a small lamp on low as humans could not see as well as she in such low light as cast by the commpost in the corner on the room. “What happened? A bad dream?” The little girl nodded with a hiccoughing sniffle. “Would you like to tell me?”
Maya gently brushed the silver hair from the girl’s forehead and wiped the tears from her lashes. Danae was built along the same delicate lines as her mother, Sandra, and while a quiet child, usually had her father’s self-confidence. Maya had never seen her this obviously upset. She wrapped her arms around the trembling child and gently rocked back and forth.
“Are we being punished by God?” The little girl looked up at Maya with bright green eyes.
“Oh, my, what makes you think that?” Extremely competent in many fields, Maya suddenly felt very much out of her depth. Routine night frights she could deal with, but discussions of religion, even with a child, left her uncomfortable. Her religious beliefs, after all, came from a completely different culture, not to mention world. She usually left it to Tony to answer the questions that their children, Roberto and Lysee, asked.
“The grown-ups in the crèche talked about how we have to wander around looking for a new home. Like Moses did. That we are being punished for the bad things people did on Earth. Is God still mad with us?” Danae’s trusting, widely dilated green eyes looked up into Maya’s blue ones.
“The grown-ups told you this?” Maya asked surprised. In her experience, few Alphans spoke freely of their differing religious beliefs.
Danae shook her head. “It was naptime. I couldn’t sleep.”
Well, that made more sense, but still….. “Little one, I don’t believe we are bad people, and I know for a certainty that you and Lysee and the other children have done nothing wrong, but maybe we should find your father and ask him what he thinks of this question. In the morning? Alright?” Maya felt the little girl stiffen, the fears returning at the thought of going back to sleep. Maya placed a slender finger under the girl’s chin and lifted her face upward to see it better. The eyes were still fearful. “Well, maybe we can call him and see if he can speak with us now. But first, we need to tell Uncle Tony that we are off on an adventure! Wait here while I change, I’ll leave the door open so you can call me if you become afraid.” Danae clutched Horse tightly, but nodded her understanding.
Maya opened the door to her sleeping room and called softly for Tony. It was never wise to abruptly waken the Security Chief from a deep sleep; out of long habit, he would immediately grab for the laser gun he kept in a palm encrypted drawer at the bedside and erupt out of the bed…. something that the already frightened little girl did not need to see. She also did not want to awaken the sleeping baby in the bassinet next to the bed. She whispered the problem to Tony as she slipped into a uniform.
Tony was plainly mad at the fright given Danae. “I’ll find out in the morning who were the idiots that decided to have such a deep philosophical discussion in the crèche of all places.” He made a rude noise that Maya hushed. “Common sense is obviously not so common in some of our genius types.” He arose out of bed and left the room as Maya finished dressing.
Pulling her hair up into a casual twist, Maya entered the front room to find Tony standing by the commpost, Danae and Horse sitting on his arm, speaking with Alan. “….it’s no problem, she’s almost dressed anyhow. Verdeschi out.” Tony turned his attention back to Danae. “Quite the nighttime adventure for such a little Alphan,” he said with smiling reassurance as he set the girl gently on the floor and squatted down in front of her, rolling up the overly long pajama legs. “Ask your papa your question. It’s an important one.” He stood and turned Danae to face Maya. “Alan’s in Command Center.”
Maya nodded her thanks and held her hand out to Danae; together, the Psychon, the girl and the stuffed horse left for Command Center.
Command Center was dim and quiet. If Alan had had his druthers, he would have turned the lights on full and turned on some music, maybe some Slim Dusty. Just because he was keeping a night watch shouldn’t mean that he had to sit in a tomb. There were no Eagles up just now, the monitors registered empty space, and his fellow shift worker was, well, frankly dull. Alan knew Sandra, for some unknown reason, thought well of Yasko, but he thought she was just silly. Brilliant, maybe, but silly. Yasko insisted that this was a tradition to be followed.
His commlock chirped. Sandra? She was supposed to be in their quarters asleep. He was pulling a string of nightshifts so that he would be able to stay nights with her after the baby arrived. Richard was with John and Helena and Danae with Tony and Maya so that Sahn could get some uninterrupted rest. “Carter.”
Tony’s and Danae’s faces appeared. “Good morning, Alan. At least I think it is, morning at least. Sorry to bother you, but Danae woke up with a nightfright and some pretty serious questions, are you free enough to see her?” Tony’s face was solemn but not anxious, so it must not be too serious.
It was quiet on Alpha, but he didn’t favor leaving Yasko alone in Command Center. “Yeah, certainly. Do I need to come, or…”
“No, Maya can bring her, it’s no problem, she’s almost dressed anyhow. Verdeschi out.”
Alan was puzzled. What would be serious enough to troop the child across Alpha in the middle of the ‘night’ and yet not so serious that Tony looked calm? At least they had left Sandra asleep. He looked over at Yasko. There was no reason she needed to be involved.
“Yasko, why don’t you go get lunch. You could bring me back something, please. Take your time. I’ll call if there’s a problem.”
“Certainly, Alan,” and after adding an alert relay to her commlock, the data analysis tech left. In a few more moments, Maya and Danae arrived.
“Papa!” cried Danae and all but jumped into Alan’s arms, the oversized pajamas making her look smaller than she already was. Maya discretely stayed by the door, crossed arms over chest, leaning against the wall. She was in position to watch the monitors for Alan and yet not interfere with Danae’s time with her father.
Alan hugged his eldest, amazed anew at this special gift he had been granted, one he never could have imagined just a few short years ago living long enough to see. He imagined Sandra must have been this tiny as a child, and wondered if her father had worried about breaking his daughter during a hug. He settled Danae on his knees facing him, smoothed his face into parental calm and asked, “So, now, what’s the big problem?”
Danae risked a quick look back toward Maya, who gave an encouraging smile. She took a deep breath, some of her night fear coming back despite being in the safety of her father’s presence. “Papa, is God mad at us?”
“What?!?” Alan felt blindsided. How was he supposed to answer this? He looked at Maya, who shrugged.
“She apparently overheard some adults speaking in the crèche when she should have been napping,” Maya offered by way of explanation.
Alan looked back to the trusting eyes of his daughter. Danae nodded and added, “They said Uncle John was like Moses and that we would have to wonder for years and years and that Alpha might fall apart first, or that we might all die…” her eyes started to tear up. One of her small friends had lost her father on the lunar surface in a freak accident a few months ago. It had greatly upset all the children.
Alan thought furiously, he was no theologian but did believe in the fundamental benevolence of the Deity, whatever one may call him, or her.
“No, Danae, I don’t think God is mad at us. In fact, I think He’s kinda watching out for us. We’ve been through some mighty strange happenings, and we’ve come through in one piece.” For the most part, he thought to himself. “We’ll find our new home one day.” Alan shared a smile with Danae; they both knew the wonderful, hopeful chant the children sang in their teaching cavern with The Storyteller.
“Then why did God let Breakaway happen? A lot of people died.” Danae decided to ask all her scary questions tonight.
“I don’t know, love. Breakaway was horrible and very sad, but some good did come out of it. Being here on Alpha gave me the chance to get to know your Mum. We wouldn’t have married otherwise, and that would have meant no Danae, no Richard and no little sister that is growing inside your Mum’s tummy right now.”
Danae thought this over carefully. “Uncle Tony wouldn’t have met Aunt Maya. She came after Breakaway.”
“Yeah, and that would have meant…”
“No Lysee or Roberto or Kelsia. And one grumpy Uncle Tony!”
Alan laughed a full laugh; even the children had picked up on Tony’s moods when it came to Maya.
“Papa, you love mum, right?”
“With all my heart.”
“You love Auntie Maya, too, right?”
“Not in the same way, but, yes, I care for Aunt Maya. And Aunt Helena, too.”
Danae’s next question had the frank brutality of a child’s concern. “Papa, if something happened to Uncle Tony, would you marry Aunt Maya?”
Alan and Maya exchanged bleak looks. Such possibility of sudden death was ever present on Alpha. Alan looked back down at Danae, his voice so full of certainty that it immediately reassured his daughter. “We will always watch out for each other, Danae. And if something happens to any of us, there will always be grown-ups who love you and will watch after you.”
“And Richie? And Lysee? And Stephen and….” Danae thought through everyone she counted as family.
“Yes, someone will always watch after all of you. Never fear that, alright?” Alan gave his child a very tight hug and blinked his eyes hard to stop the tears.
“Alright, Papa,” Danae yawned and finally relaxed, leaning against Alan’s chest, one small hand holding tight to his, eyes heavier and heavier until she fell asleep.
Maya sat down next to Alan watching him gently rock the sleeping girl.
“Do we know who the adults were?” Alan finally asked, speaking quietly, looking over to Maya with a foreboding expression on his usually amiable face.
“No, but Tony will find out.”
“Good. They need to have their discussions elsewhere.” Alan relaxed a little, he’d let Tony deal with it. Gradually, his usual good humor returned. “So, Tony didn’t feel up to answering the religious questions? I’m surprised, he’s the observant one. I just remember the basics.” He looked at Maya, well aware Tony was the one to answer their children’s questions about God.
“Yes, but he says your traditions are different and he did not want to… ‘step on your toes.’” Maya offered, speaking in the way that showed she had yet to fully understand this bit of colloquialism.
“Not all that different. I bet he’s just being chicken,” Alan snorted. This far from Earth and with all the traditions that abounded on Alpha, Roman Catholicism and Anglicanism might as well be the same.
“Is that the bird that lays unfertilized eggs that human’s eat?” Maya saw Alan nod yes. “Then I am to say…..cluck, cluck.”
Alan was hard pressed to contain a laugh. “Just so you don’t turn into one…”
Maya did laugh, aborting the beginnings of a shower of metamorphic light. She covered a yawn. “I’ll take her back, Alan. I think she’ll sleep through the night now.”
And with that, Alan regretfully relinquished his child, and after watching Maya and a sleeping Danae leave Command Center, returned to the boring solitude of a night watch. He and Sandra would have to talk about what sort of religious instruction to give their children, obviously they needed some foundation. If nothing else, just to make sure they didn’t confuse John Koenig with Moses. It might be better to have Danae think of Alpha more like a Noah’s Ark, although there was a wrathful Deity at the beginning of that story, also. At least it had a happy ending, and Noah did get to see his promised land. John would undoubtedly prefer that ending. But, in any case, that talk would be for when he and Sandra were rested and back on the same shift. For now, he turned up the lights and asked Computer to find some Slim Dusty music. Traditions were important, and religious ones moreso he granted, but the heck with Yasko’s dim dullness.
MGK